He leaves and never looks back, giving her a life of freedom, a life where she can live a quiet existence and be happy without him. She feels a tingle, followed by a breeze that rustles her dark hair, and then nothing. So he leans closer, softly kissing her mouth. It would be too cruel, appearing only to leave her once more, when she’d finally had the courage to say goodbye. He couldn’t destroy the life that she’d built for a single moment of acknowledgment only to have to disappear again. It would alter their story in irreparable ways, and knowing the truth might put her life in further danger. It would change her perception of reality. He could use what energy he had left to show himself, but doing so would change everything.

He considers it, standing right in front of her. She thinks he died in Shadow Dancer from the illness that has been turning him into nothing, so he’s spent Ghosted in isolation. She doesn’t know it’s the man she gave her heart to so long ago-Elliot Embers. ‘Who are you?’ she asks afterward, standing in the street as the warehouse burns, unable to see him, but she can feel him. It picks up with the big warehouse explosion, as Breezeo saves his lover, Maryanne, from death. I start to read, filling in the blanks, narrating the pictures. Sighing, I pull the comic from its protective sleeve and open it.

“That’s okay,” she says, climbing up into my lap on the couch. “Sure,” I say, taking it from her, “but it’s not the whole story, sweetheart. “Can we read Breezeo now, Mommy? Please?” But yet as soon as we walk in the door, before we even settle in, she pops up in front of me clutching the comic book wrapped in plastic that she swiped from my bedroom. That’s how many Maddie picks up at the library to bring home. It’s still so strange, after all these years, seeing that familiar face on the screen. I sit down on the arm of the couch beside her, watching. We head back to the living room, where Maddie is now wide-awake, captivated by the movie as Breezeo makes his big move and saves the day. “I promised I’d take her to the library today.”

“We should go,” I say, dropping the subject. I just have no idea how to explain any of it. Maddie hasn’t asked many questions, so up until now it’s been swept under the rug, but I know that won’t fly when she gets older. I’ve never been sure how to handle it all. “She’d say if that’s the only way Madison will ever have the chance to know the guy, so be it.”

He motions toward the living room, where the movie still plays on the television. “This is why we still need your mother around,” he says. And I have to wonder, at what point am I just making it worse? Because six years is a long time for her to not know about him.” “I don’t hate him,” I say, my stomach doing that twisting and turning again.

Ghosted book jm